Have you ever talked yourself out of doing something or told yourself you couldn’t do a certain thing? Believing that you can’t fulfil your goals because you’re not good enough or you don’t have the right experience or skills. It can be a daily battle when your mind overrules who you are and what you want to do. And it is a very common situation that many people find themselves in throughout the workplace.
For everything that we desire, a belief is created, and behind that belief, is a story. However, such stories can either take us one step forward or two steps backwards. The stories that take us backwards, are our “limiting beliefs” . To change these limiting beliefs, the story that we tell ourselves must be rewritten.
To rewrite such beliefs there are certain steps that we can take, but don’t forget you will not change overnight . Such changes take time, and the more you belief in yourself, the more likely that your story will become reality…
Step 1. Create central beliefs about who you are - Your core beliefs about yourself are essentially dependent on your past and when you were growing up. So, if you ever felt that you were the shy kid or the one who wasn’t the smartest in the class, then it’s likely that such beliefs have been carried into your adulthood.
No matter how much you may succeed, the past can still remain with you and negative memories of who you were in the past can niggle away at the back of your mind. Meaning that you can ignore your achievements and instead emphasis your errors. To avoid repeatedly feeling this way, write down everything that you have accomplished. Sometimes writing down your achievements can be the best way to clear the mind. Likewise ask a friend or colleague for their opinion on you, it’s more likely that they will be able to appreciate your qualities as they come from an outsider perspective.
Step 2. Become an actor – Not literally, but what if you try to act confident or like a social expert? Don’t overdo it but next time you’re at a networking event or conference take note of the more confident individuals in the room. What are they doing? How do they act? Try to mimic how they conduct themselves but don’t be fake, instead encourage yourself to bring out another side to your personality.
Stated by Amy Cuddy, a social psychologist, “don’t fake it till you make it, fake it till you become it” . Cuddy encourages people to not only think about their minds but also what their bodies say about them. Someone who looks uncomfortable, is less likely to be dominant in the workplace than those who choose high power poses. So next time you don’t feel confident think about those around you and compare it to what you’re used to doing, as sometimes your presence has more of an effect on what you’re saying than you realise.
Step 3. Take your time – Above all take your time. There’s no point in rushing straight into changing as these things take time, and little steps go a long way.
This may mean that you decide to write down your goals, observe your thoughts or confront your assumptions. All of which centre around you, as you are the most vital part of the story and eventually what you tell yourself will come true.
Step 4. Have a go! - Take some steps to make it happen.
Enjoy the process!